How Time Flies

                           How Time Flies

21 months ago when our daughter told us she was going to have her first child, all we could think about was becoming grandparents.  12 months ago when Olive was born we said we didn’t want to miss any of the stages of her growing up. And this weekend at her 1st birthday party, we realized how time flies.

Even though we started the process of moving back to Las Vegas all those months ago, it wasn’t until just recently that we completed the move and began the daily observations of how quickly kids grow and learn and change.  And now we’re figuratively kicking ourselves for not moving faster.

But it’s not so easy to move quickly, and I don’t just mean the process of physically moving.  Thinking, planning and moving towards the future are difficult when houses have to be bought and sold, things to do have to be arranged and organized, and habits have to be changed and revised. We all talk about change and what it takes to accomplish it, but deep down we drag our feet when change is imminent.  Whether in an organization, a family or in ourselves, we hold onto the past and all that we know about it, and hesitantly and reluctantly squint at and move towards the future.

But once we get through any of life’s changes, it’s usually hard to understand what the reticence and anxiety were all about.  Once we see the opportunities and experience the excitement that the future holds we are shocked at the foolishness that led to dragging our feet in the first place.  And in this case, once we saw how much Olive had and continues to grow we knew that we had to change our whole mindset in order to keep up with our grand-parenting interests and responsibilities. 

So we’ve now learned all over again how important it is to understand what’s needed in life and to quickly get on with getting there.  Olive is 1, and we now realize how important it is to be there for and be a part of every one of her days.  And hold on: her parents just announced that soon Olive is going to be a big sister!  So it’s good that we’re already here and now won’t have to miss any of our next grandchild’s days of growing and learning.  The moral of this story: change is good.  Because life together with family is good!

My message this week is about the timeliness of acting on our goals:

“Have a bias toward action - let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.” Indira Gandhi

Professionals always have a plan!  They are deliberate and disciplined, and that helps them to succeed.  Like a carpenter who “measures twice and cuts once”: simple, straight-forward and assured gets the job done right.  So, do you have a plan?  Doesn’t matter if it’s for something big or small – everything goes better when it’s planned.  And while it’s good to know exactly where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, it’s also important to sweat the small stuff: break the big plan into small steps and then take the first step right away.  After that, re-look at the plan often and amend it as needed from all that you learn along the way.  Remember: if you want to do something – make a plan now and have a bias towards action.  Be prepared and active today!

Stay well!                            

Moving Day

                         Moving Day

         

Ok – I promise – only one more ARTicle about moving and then I’ll move on. Moving day finally came last week and everything had to get put in boxes so the truck could take it all away.  Easier said than done!

We lived in a small apartment in Brooklyn for only 2 years, but you’d have thought it was much longer.  The big stuff was easy – large handfuls of clothes and books go into big boxes, sealed up with that tape that is nearly impossible to get started off the roll and to cut. The desk, the vacuum cleaner, pillows and bedding, towels – a piece of cake.  But where did all that stuff in the drawers come from?

When we moved in we made a conscious decision that we wouldn’t hoard – right!  But then there were matches from favorite restaurants, cards from people we met, spare change, quickly written notes, paper clips, hair bands, erasers, spare keys, bills, notices, prospectuses, magazines, unopened mail, mail that might be useful, bar-coded cards from the super market loyalty programs, pens, a spare dog leash, addresses and phone numbers…..it’s endless.  And it seems the desire to save irrelevant and never-to-be-used stuff is stronger than the resolution not to.  Human nature has some weird habits.

My hands shook as I tried to just toss it all out…..and that led to handling each item and ruminating about it, which led to finally putting it into a small box marked “Miscellaneous”.  That seemed like a good compromise – NOT!  When the boxes arrived here in Las Vegas yesterday, that small box of miscellaneous items joined several (read: dozens) others all marked the same, some of which have made it unopened through multiple past moves.  Yikes – there’s no place for all this stuff (read: junk)! What if I just threw all the unopened boxes out?  I mean…if I haven’t touched or used any of that stuff in years, how important or useful could it be?

What is it that makes us want to save old stuff?  And does all that old stuff constrict our ability to learn and grow from the future (which will be filled in part with more stuff)? It’s only May, but I’m going to make a new New Year’s resolution not to hoard the small stuff anymore. And to give my soul a chance to soar unfettered by all the minutia that is meaningless.  Wish me luck!

My message this week is about continually trying to be the person I really want to be:

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” Michel de Montaigne

Do you care about yourself? Do you care how you look, about the kind of overall presentation you make, how others see you, or what others remember about you later – these are all how or what you are to others.  Do you also care about the kind of person you are, whether you choose right or wrong, giving of yourself even when the kindness is not returned, and living a righteous and humble life – these are what you see in and think about yourself. While it does matter what others think, it’s more important that you live up to your own goals and expectations because that determines what you are to yourself.  So make sure you do the things that make you proud of who and what you are today!

Stay well!      

On the Road Again

               On the Road Again

Sorry there were no ARTicles the past two weeks: I just couldn’t find the inspiration.  Or maybe I was distracted with finally moving everything from New York City back to Las Vegas.  But alas, while walking these big city streets for the last time, I found an inspiration.

Isn’t it always the case that we see things most clearly when doing them for the last time?  It seems we take the things we know for granted and then tend to miss the beauty and importance of them. Walking (as opposed to driving) puts us much closer to our surroundings, and stimulates so many more senses beyond just seeing, and these flooded me with renewed awareness, awe, and nostalgia as the reality (and finality) of another change set in.

What a treasure this New York adventure has been: because I was here on a long-term assignment, these past 2 years have been filled with exploration and wonder.  It seemed more like a vacation, so I was always restless to see and do more.  And it was this trying-out-something-new attitude that gave me a much better feel for (and perspective of) the ordinary things that surrounded me.  Friends, home, family, hobbies, goals, favorite things – they all are more meaningful to me now.

And this adventure has rekindled my passion for life’s changes.  There’s a lesson here: don’t be afraid to re-pot yourself every now and then to let your roots grow and expand. And that the passage of time can be put too much better use than just getting older. 

So, if you get the chance, I highly recommend getting back on the road again!

My message this week is about being and showing your enthusiasm when life makes you feel that way:

“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.” Gordon Parks

I’ve noticed that most people don’t show excitement or enthusiasm at work because they think that’s unprofessional.  But why shouldn’t you show enthusiasm when something excites you? Learning something new or doing something really well certainly is cause for excitement. But when’s the last time you felt like pumping your fist in the air or letting out an enthusiastic exclamation and didn’t because you thought it might be inappropriate? Here’s some advice: when you feel like that, show it; it will be infectious because enthusiasm is the electricity of life – when you act enthusiastically so will those who are around you.  Make it a habit today to act out your enthusiasm and passions, and watch how it affects your colleagues.

Stay well!  

Thick as a Brick

            Thick as a Brick

In the news this week: cell phones are 40 years old.  In this relatively short period of time they certainly have changed the way we do just about everything.  Go figure.

My 92 year old mother uses one, and my 10 month old granddaughter loves playing with toy and real ones. People in rural areas without running water use cellphones.  There are 7 billion people on the planet, and more than 6 billion cellphones.   Brazil and Russia have twice as many cellphones as they have people.  Go figure

Cellphones became mobile phones – now we can’t go anywhere without one.  You can use them to set your DVD, turn on the lights, unlock the doors, watch video of your home while you’re away,  start your car, check the lights, run your life.  That’s probably why they now call them smartphones. Go figure.

Talking, texting, tweeting, IMing, shopping, browsing, emailing, playing, watching, taking pictures, makeing or watching videos, reading, depositing, and doing all the things that all those apps do: so many uses, so little time. And so little time actually spent without the damn phone.  Go figure.

It’s almost hard to remember what life was like BS (before smartphones).  And it’s hard to imagine what life would be like now without smartphones. Imagine driving or walking or navigating or shopping or sitting or seeing something cool or wanting to let someone know about something or just passing time - without one. Go figure.

But there really is life without a phone.  Dreaming, smelling, doing something really interactive with others; enjoying and being with those you love in real time.  The concept of doing things without a phone seems almost as foreign now as the concept of ubiquitous smartphones did way back when.  Go figure!

My message this week is that there’s nothing better than really being with those you love:

“There's no substitute for innovation, but innovation is no substitute for being in touch, either.”  Steve Balmer

Did you ever hear the expression: “going off half-cocked”?  This originally referred to the safety mechanism on old flintlock-type guns that sometimes failed, causing an unintended firing. People sometimes have a similar problem, saying or doing things before they’ve been fully planned or thought through.  With these, the results are much the same as with the gun: missing the mark or, worse, causing harm.  This could also apply when trying something new and different: if not planned well and thoroughly thought through, the results may not be what are intended, or they might offend or hurt others, or they may have totally unintended consequences like affecting relationships or team efforts. When changing things, make sure you know everything needed in order to do what’s right, check with all who are involved (family, friends, colleagues or customers) to know what’s actually needed, and then check to make sure you’re ready to get it right.  Plan well  to get the results you want, and try not to go off half-cocked this week!

Stay well!

Another April Fools' Day

                                                   

          Another April Fools’ Day

I was walking on a New York City street this past week, and in front of me was a short guy about my age wearing a Marine’s jacket and hat.  Seemed incongruous because he was short, and the picture in my mind of an ex-Marine didn’t include short.  I’m short, and never envisioned myself as big enough to be a Marine – but from the look of this guy I guess that wasn’t all together true.

We started talking and he told me he’d been a “tunnel rat” in Vietnam, and how that changed his life: bad hearing and emphysema. He’d grown up in Brooklyn, had been homeless for a time after the war, was now living in a Veteran’s Home, and had kids and grandkids he didn’t see much.  The conversation got deeper more quickly than I’d expected; it seemed like he just needed to talk, so I walked on and listened.  And as he talked I reflected on how two short and similarly aged guys had such diverse backgrounds and stories.  And how lucky I am.

The streets are filled with people, and most of the time we never know much about them; but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to learn from asking.  We don’t often ask because we’re too busy or absorbed, and so a microcosmic incident like this proves how much we lose by not asking, not just from the people we meet by chance, but also from those we know and love.  How often have you been too self-centered to stop and ask, and really care about, what’s going on with family, friends, colleagues and strangers?  For me, the answer is too often!  And that’s never good or right.

So on this April Fools’ Day, forget the pranks and focus on the thanks you can give and get by asking and really caring about those around you.  Life is full of stories, most of which are warm and enriching.  And life should be full of caring, which can be nurturing when it's genuine.  Make time today to ask, and listen, and care.  That’s nothing to joke about!

My message this week is about the kind of person you should be:

“Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.”  Harper Lee

What do you see in the mirror in the morning when you’re brushing your teeth?  Is it the person you want to be?  We read messages like this, or watch the news about notable people, and think we’d like to be more like them: smarter, taller, wiser, funnier, better, or just something other than what we are.  But in reality, we are who and what we are, and the challenge is to be the best we can be.  Because there’s no reason to try to be someone we’re not, it’s important to listen to our inner voice when it points out right from wrong.  That’s called your conscience, and it can, and often does, point you in the right direction. Listen to your inner voice today and let it guide you to doing what’s right!

Stay Well!

The Ides of March

The Ides of March

How often have you heard someone say: “beware the Ides of March”?  And how often have you wondered what that really means?

Sure, we all know it was the date that Brutus assassinated Julius Caesar, but who cares?  That was in 44 BC, so why are we still worried?  How come nobody reminds us to beware of so many other dates when people have been assassinated - is it because the date is less important than the concept of someone betraying us? 

How often have you been betrayed or disappointed by friends and loved ones, and how many times have your hopes and aspirations been dashed by those you’ve trusted? Life is full of these kinds of ups and downs, but we shouldn’t spend our days fearful of those around us. Rather than worrying, maybe we should work hard to make sure we’re the kind of person that others could and should trust, the kind that others never consider betraying or disappointing.  We should communicate effectively with others so that the chance mistakes that lead to mistrust and betrayal don’t happen.  And maybe we shouldn’t be so fixated on being afraid – most things turn out okay if we let them.

I feel badly that Brutus betrayed and killed Caesar….but I can’t let that long ago event ruin my day.  No more than I should fear getting in a car or walking across the street – how many of those routine acts have resulted in more fatal incidents than we can count or keep track of.  Life is certainly full of risks – but if we’re open and honest and aware and careful, chances are we’ll get through the day without anything more than the normal scratches that life presents.  So keep your eyes, ears and minds open today for all that’s going on around you, and Enjoy the Ides of March!

My message this week is about being honest and fair:

“I never think about my best interests. I think about what's the right thing to do in a situation.” Clive Palmer

Most of the time we’re encouraged to be consistent, the thinking being that doing the same for everyone is the right thing to do.  But how often are circumstances exactly the same – almost never, and so consistency is not always the right way to proceed.  Having to think about what’s the right thing to do in a situation is a better way to approach things: you have to assess everything, use all your expertise and experience, add some common sense, and then decide on the best course of action.  That way others will know that you considered all the factors and options, and decided on what’s fair and just.  Deciding the right thing to do is the way to be fair, and that’s what others expect and deserve. That’s all you can ask of others….and them of you.

Stay well!

March Madness

                  March Madness

I spent this week in Las Vegas, taking care of family stuff and watching as people from everywhere showed signs of March Madness.

Webster defines “Mad-ness” as “the state of being mad”.  Sounds pretty straight-forward, and yet none of the thousands of people flocking here for this annual ritual appear to be mad.  In fact, they’re downright giddy!  They come in groups, hang out all day and night, drink and eat, and generally look like they’re more happy than mad.

Funny how we use common terms to mean multiple things: mad for happy, bad for good, go for stay, yes as an exclamation.  It’s no wonder that people for whom English is a second language have trouble understanding us.  And it’s no wonder that many native speaking English people also are confused by the words and phrases we use.

In this era of hype-as-speak, we need to focus more on saying what we mean, and then meaning what we say. We need to be aware that our words impact others, so we should carefully watch what we say (can you really watch?).  And we should make sure we use words when appropriate, and hold our tongues (have you ever really held a tongue??) when it’s proper and prudent to do so.  Enough said!

My message this week is about being the person others need you to be:

“You can pretend to care, but you can't pretend to show up.” George L. Bell

How do you show your professionalism?  Is it by caring about and empathizing with others, trusting others and showing them respect, being fair, and being there?  People at work rely on the professionals around them to be there for them: to answer questions, give guidance, provide positive leadership, and give a helping hand.  But you can’t do that if you’re not there and visible.  How often have you worked with or for people who don’t interact as much as you need, or don’t come out of their office unless they need something.  Remember: when you’re the professional, walk around, talk to others, ask if you can help, and let others know you’re there for them.  People don’t care what you ask as long as they know you care, and while you can pretend to care, you can’t pretend to be there.  Show up today and be the professional that others need you to be!

Stay well!